Be there. It matters….

Talk about depression; for some, a new hashtag; for some a horrendous battle. Depression is belittled in our country, and suicide is considered cowardly. However, the truth is so dark that everyone shows his back to it and pretends that it does not exist. The hypocrisy that prevails is the sad reality of our society and no one wants to admit that.

We live in a country, where going to a psychologist is equal to being mad.


While every tenth individual is a damn paranoid here, committing heinous crimes, rapes that makes you shudder and murders that make you cry; we Indians judge people who need to pour out their emotional issues to the concerned professional.

We overlook depression, and so we face suicides. Because in 98% of cases, suicide is preceded by depression. Now that everyone has started talking about depression, is it really making a difference?

We are all talking about it like it is a distant reality. Like it is an alien which might never visit earth. We are still running away from the truth. We are behaving as if it is a fictional reality or that depression is something one must keep inside him. We always do this. We will wait till someone dies. We will let depression eat him totally. And after everything said and done, we would start candle marches. Of course, we were always so concerned!

Where were we when the person who committed a suicide was planning to do so? Why were we not there to stop him? Hold him back?


I’ll tell you why…


Because we were too busy judging them!


Oh! He is upset over his result? It is such a trivial matter!”

“Oh, look at her face, her husband beats her at night, she’s covered it with make up! Why doesn’t she get rid of him?”

“Look at her, she is a divorcee and lives alone! What is the use of such a big house when no one lives in it?”

“You need to lose weight dear, no one would marry you!”


Who are we to comment without standing inside their shoes? Who are we to decide if someone is upset over a trivial matter or not? Who are we to judge others? Who are we to remind them of their shortcomings? Who are we?


We are their murderers!

We saw them drowning, but did not use a kind word. We saw them sinking, but sailed off in our own boats. We saw that they were needy, and too hurt to ask for help; but we did not offer a hand. We never tried to save them, when we could have, should have. And now we are here, blaming, lighting candles, hoping that their souls rest in peace.


But all this is futile. Maybe it would help us feel less guilty.


All those who were depressed, needed medical care and presence of people. People, who were not judgemental. They needed to talk everything out. They needed to put their faith in someone and make it a ray of hope to move ahead in life. They needed a reminder that they are loved by their parents and friends, that they’ll make others miserable if they ever think about leaving them. They needed to know that they can still be fine. They needed to understand that suffering is a part of life, and not the end of life. They needed someone who could motivate them to not give up!


So now, look around. See. Observe. Read faces. Look if anyone needs help. See if someone is in trouble. See if someone has red eyes or seems disoriented. Look around, beyond yourself and help!


Be there. It matters….

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3 Responses

  1. Nadim says:

    Very sensitive, sensible and much needed. …..

  2. Fahima says:

    May all of us hv that hearing ear without judgment.

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