Women’s day gift…
It is women’s day trivia everywhere. Every man out there is pampering the women in his life to the best of his ability. He is cooking a meal for her, taking her out for dinners, gifting her things or simply wishing her and making her feel special.
However, this year, instead of all this, can I ask for something on behalf of all the women on earth?
Men, can you please let us into your head?
We women folk, we express. Even the most complicated shit that goes on inside our heads is out there. Right in front of you!
We can never really tell if all that you’ve said is enough, complete and true.
Is it too much to ask for?
All you’ve to do is bare your soul in front of us or else we keep thinking that all you care about is our bare body. Like a Synecdoche, whenever one of your breed undresses us with his eyes, we start attributing this trait to the whole of you.
You claim against our generalisation. You scream that you’re different. You get annoyed when you’re being compared to a creep, a potential rapist. Yet, you give us reasons enough to be prejudiced against your chivalry. We’ve seen so many facades that we can never truly distinguish who is genuinely nice and who just wants to get into our pants.
And then you blame us for falling for fuck-boys or thinking you’re flirting when you’re only being nice. Trust me men, it is because some of us have accepted that you all are fuck-boys while the others think you cannot be nice without any other motives.
So men, let us in. Let us feel the difference you so loudly claim that exists between you and the ‘other’ men. Let your heart and soul testify your words. Make us feel safe, but more so; feel safe with us…
Or is it that your mind is too dirty a place to be in and if we step in there we would know your darkest imaginations and shun you? Well, if you’re ashamed to tell us something then it definitely isn’t worth keeping in your head.
We are not here just to receive answers to our own questions, or to see how respect looks inside your head. We are also here to take away your fears and vulnerabilities. Remember equality? Give and take? No, we really don’t want everything for ourselves.
Tell us. Tell us what makes you cry in the night. Tell us how you muffle your sighs under the blanket. Tell us how you break down when you go out for a drive or a lone smoke. Tell us how you’ve handled your watery eyes standing in balconies and roof tops. Tell us everything. We won’t judge you. We won’t think you’re less of a man for doing so. We won’t stop feeling safe with you or relying on you. We won’t think you’re weak.
We will only hold you and help you rise again, rise better.
It’s okay if you’re scared of cockroaches or lizards. It is okay if you’re afraid of heights or picking fights with random goons. It is okay if you can’t open tight jars. It is okay if you want to sit while we are standing. You would still be our hero if you are there to hold us when we need you the most. Your smile would still light up our whole world if you just be there for us and let us be there for you!
When we expect you to cook and clean, we are also ready to share your financial burdens. You don’t have to pay on all the dates. You don’t have to worry about the bills and fees alone. You don’t have to buy a house on your own. You don’t have to be “well-settled” at the age and stage when we are not. We’re ready to give what we expect. We want empowerment, not emperor-ship. We want equality, not superiority.
But for all of this, we need faith. We need to be sure that you see us as your equal. So talk to us. You have to communicate. Instead of leashing out on pseudo feminism you can tell us that you’re confused. We understand, you’ve been raised to believe that you’re the bread winner, the one person who is responsible for all the women in his life, you’ve been taught respect with so many misleading terms, you’ve been taught masculinity with so many myths that now, you don’t know what is expected out of you!
We are quick to call you patriarchal assholes, you’re quick to defend yourself over pseudo feminism. But where is the communication? Why don’t we sit with each other and discuss the problems you are facing because of us, the lack of clarity you have about our role in your life and what kind of place do we expect in your life?
You could be out there, fulfilling the roles of a brother, friend, lover, husband, father or a grandparent just like we fulfil the counterparts of these roles. Maybe we don’t see your sacrifice. Maybe we don’t understand your love. Maybe we criticise more than we appreciate. Maybe we tell you we’re disappointed in you. But we’ve communicated everything to you, haven’t we?
Then why are you hiding behind your walls? Why are there so many layers surrounding you? Why can’t you tell us what you’ve felt?
Or you’re so scared to face your own emotions that you shut them off in your head? Do you really never care at all about what you’ve been through? Is it really humanly possible? Please teach us how?
We’ve extended our hand. Do not refuse it with rude remarks and bitter experiences with some women who used you for your money or manipulated you because they belonged to a glorified sex. Exceptions are everywhere. The way you don’t want to be put in line with the perverts and creeps, we too don’t want to be called damsels in distress.
We are evolving too on the path of equality. We’re tired of fighting for something that was entitled to us by birth. Give us our basic rights and you won’t hear the word feminism again. We want to meet you mid-way in everything. Even when the adjustment is on our side.
So, on this women’s day; please give us the tools to be there for you. It’s been a while we’re trying to walk shoulder to shoulder with you practically. It is time you walk shoulder to shoulder with us, emotionally.
On this women’s day, please gift us an insight into your mind. Tell us everything you feel, whether it is trivial or huge. Just communicate. Trust me, this year on 19th November; we would not forget to wish you men’s day. We would do all the special things you’ve done for us and we would ensure that we make you feel special and celebrate the beauty and dignity of masculinity!
After all, we are two wheels, drawing humanity ahead. It is high time we appreciate each other…