Men and Women of the Earth!
There is enough word in print about the great battle between the two major genders of this world. There cannot be possibly anything that hasn’t been said about their varied differences, their quirks, their games and how they should tackle one another. Men are from Mars, they say, and the Women are from Venus. Then, what are they doing on Earth?
Men and women are subsets of various groups. One of them is Earthlings, and one more humans. These two bigger sets are currently my concern. In a Venn Diagram of Earthlings, the smaller circles of men and women both would be inclusive in the bigger circle of humans. However, the Venn diagram within the circle of humans has infinite other subsets. There is caste, creed, race, religion, nationality, men, women, trans-genders, capitalists, communists and the list is endless.
Every specie has an evolutionary disadvantage. For humans, it is their tendency to divide. We love to find out the differences amongst one another and cause disagreements. We practice cannibalism with our ideas, destroying each other in the process. However, if I start talking about those infinite subsets humans have divided themselves into, I would be deviating from the subject. I think I have made my point here.
So, I don’t really want to touch upon how men and women are different or who is at fault. We have all read this, heard this, had arguments about this and maybe even have started hating or abusing certain people in the process. What I want to bring to light is the fact that men and women are similar more than we think.
Except for the specific biological variations, all the other distinctions have been an outcome of the social construct. These gender roles have been formed and modified by both the parties for gains. The best way for a selfish gain is to oppress the opponent. The best way to oppress the opponent is by being stronger than the opponent and that can be achieved in two ways. One, by being better than your opponent and two, by bringing your opponent down.
Both these ways are being implemented since the times immemorial. The patriarchy works this way. So does pseudo-feminism. The concept of equality is a myth. A mere decoration to support the arguments. The true agenda is to establish the supremacy over the others.
When these selfish gains are the motive, the birds of a feather aren’t true to their own flock! Women wrong women. Men wrong men. They wrong each other. The bottom line is, there is no possible generalisation.
Of course there are things that happen routinely. On an average, patriarchy exists, feminazis exist, gender roles exist, and all those things that we fight over do exist. But can we really blame any particular gender for that? Fine, we can blame the society. But are we willing to take the blame on ourselves considering we are also the part of the social construct?
All the wrongs that exist are our own doing. We say that biology has favoured one gender over the other in terms of physical strength. But biology or shall I say nature, is pretty balanced that way. Propagation of the human race requires men and women to mate. Genetic variation resides with men, the XY chromosome. Hence, the female gender is conspicuous. The burden or the marvel (depends on perspective) of giving birth lies on the shoulders of women, hence the nature has gifted them endurance and undying courage.
Vulnerability hasn’t been unfair. It is destined for each and every human alike. Every one of us has been weak and vulnerable on certain days and strong and invincible on other days. You place a man in a room full of women against him, and his physical strength would be of no use. Similarly, women have difficulty in articulating their emotions and addressing their issues and a man can successfully get them out of that phase. These generalisations that men are stronger physically and women are better emotionally do not hinder or enhance their survival. They can use their wit and will to get out of any situation. And if the moment of vulnerability has to befall them, then it does. At such a time, they need each other. As one human to another. If the stronger one takes advantage of someone else’s vulnerability then it is a reflection of the kind of human being that person is.
The battle of men and women does not have to be a battle actually. It doesn’t have to be, “if all men behaved like that….” and “if all women behaved like this…” All we need to be is a good person, a good human being. With all our flaws, imperfections and mistakes, we need to grow each day and grow with each other. Men and women were supposed to fill each other’s voids, literally as well as figuratively! If we look at each other with love and respect, keep our gender roles aside and accept each other as imperfect individuals, there will be nothing to fight about.
It may sound highly optimistic, naïve and borderline irrational but I do hope for a world that is devoid of casual sexism, patriarchy, gender roles, pseudo-feminism and gender bias. I hope for a world where a woman climbs off a Bullet and it is not a big deal. I look forward to the day when a man cries and he is immediately pulled into a hug, no one laughs. I want to see the day when men and women work in the house and outside alike while taking care of their children. I imagine a world where the games are replaced with honesty. I hope for the day when the idea of equality is not a myth and men and women know what they are supposed to be doing on this earth!